In a recent trip to Sonoma with some friends, I was forced to relearn an incredible lesson. "There is no substitute for the actual experience."

We had wanted to visit wine-country for several months and an opening popped up in our mutual schedules. So, being the adventurers that we are, we collected data about both Napa and Sonoma, scoped out the airports, our favorite wineries and planned a day trip to California. We did not take much time to plan this, mind you. We are all veteran travelers and what's the worst that can happen? 'Besides," I said, "I have my GPS."

All - and I stress - all, of our research suggested that Sonoma would be the best choice for a day trip. The wineries themselves claim to be within 90 minutes of the San Francisco airport. This would be perfect for us since we had a flight that arrived about 9:00 in the morning and could get flights out at 6:30 and 8:30 in the evening. There were several wineries that would do nicely on this little jaunt. Our goal: visit four or five wineries, maybe buy something nice and return. This is where the first rule of design is applied: "There is no substitute for the actual experience."

Aircraft arrival - 15 minutes late
Time to get the jetway to the aircraft - 10 minutes
Tram to rental car - 15 minutes
Rent the car - 15 minutes
Get to the freeway to start heading to Sonoma - 10 minutes
Lunch - 30 minutes
Drive 2 hours (traffic).

Once you factor in lunch, traffic, the Golden Gate Bridge, we were not on-scene until 12:45. That was almost 4 hours after our scheduled arrival into San Francisco. In our heads, it was 90 minutes. After all, the site said, "90 minutes from the airport." This now means that on the return trip, to make the 6:30 flight, we would need to head back by 2:30. And that would be cutting it close! Needless to say, we were almost instantly at plan B, the later flight. We left the last winery at 4:15 and headed back to the airport. Traffic was with us this time and we made it by just after 7:00 pm.

I will have more comments on this trip later. For now, the most prevalent thought in my head is about the value of the experience. All of the information we had did not prepare us for almost seven hours of commute to and from the airport. Had we known this, our plans would have included an overnight stay, (which we ended up with anyway do to a canceled flight).

How many times have you tried to sell something, make something, write something that is intended to help others. Do you actually try to walk through were their pain truly is? Do you really understand what the needs are when you are giving them information? Do you think any of the people that put together the winery sites actually experienced landing at the airport, renting a car and driving the their location? Probably not. And why would they. They live and work near the winery. When they do travel into town, they know all the best times and a route, so 90 minutes probably is a good estimate, for them.

So, here are two very relevant points:
1) If you are planning a trip to Napa Valley or Sonoma - you can't do it in a day. Don't' even try.
2) When you are writing, designing, selling for building (whatever), get your hands on it. Do it. Live it. Reading about it on a web-site or in a book will not give you the experience you need to fully understand the ins and outs. Use the material from the perspective of the user, not from your own knowledge or experience base.

This is where the phrase, "to walk a mile in another mans shoes," really starts to take flight. If your customers, clients, whatever know that you have experienced their pain, they are going to be more likely to trust you and relate to you.